Farmingville, NY - When it was constructed a few years ago, no one could know the terror it would soon harbor.  

Scant days after the ribbon cutting ceremony weird things began to happen.  A dog became telepathic, a local boy began drawing pictures of the spire in his sleep, one reported incident even had flowers blooming with monkey-heads.  It was only a matter of time before hysteria gripped the community.

The odd occurrences even have supporters of the Vietnam Memorial wondering if they have constructed a gateway to the nether regions of hell.

"I thought we were honoring our veterans.  Who knew we would be throwing open the very gates of hell?" queried Quince Fugh, a local resident.

"How can we expect our police to arrest hell spawn?" asked another concerned person, Svetlana McSmootov a local tanner.  "I highly doubt our laws bind demons." remarked one lawyer.

Nightly pyrotechnic shows have become commonplace to local residents.  Accounts have discounted the fact that the area is home to a world renown fireworks manufacturer.  Few miss the implications of living so close to a portal of hell, but locals have resigned themselves to being at hell's doorstep.

"What am I going to do, move?  I lived next to Hibernian Hall for years with the bagpipes going every night till all hours.  How much worse could demons be?" complained a resident who asked for anonymity.

In any case, the monument is here to stay.  All residents hope is that the demons behave themselves.  

"If they don't quiet down and stop the shenanigans, they can take their monkey-flowers and go home!" decried Dr. Holden Migroin.

It is with this brave attitude that the inhabitants of this small hamlet must do battle with the forces of hell on their daily commute.

Photo taken by longtime curator of the Selden Sunflower Sanitarium housed on the campus of Suffolk County Community College.  All rights reserved.