Conjecture flew back and forth concerning the cause of the crash.  Was it faulty wiring?  Pilot error?  Lightning?  A bomb?  Another plane colliding with it?  A missile fired by a peeved commuter on the L.I.E.?  There seemed to be more theories than there were television stations. 

However, not one broadcaster even considered something so obvious it boggles the mind that it took so long for anyone to think about.  What about Space Ghost?  

Indeed, what about Space Ghost?  Before you dismiss the notion out of hand, hear out the evidence.  When is the last time anyone has really seen Space Ghost alive?  I've seen a few episodes of his TV talk show Space Ghost: Coast to Coast on the Cartoon Network, but can we really be sure that it's not taped?  

Ok, so that's not evidence in itself.  I'll go over a few scenarios then.  Let's say old Spacey has been going at the bottle pretty heavy most of the day and decides to take a leisurely flight over the ocean.  It's common knowledge that he has a beach house out in the Hamptons, so this isn't so farfetched.  Then let's say he accidentally activates his Invisi-belt and passes out.  The pilot could not possibly see the invisible Space Ghost hurtle through the gas tank until the impact itself.  Who could possibly blame the pilot for something like that?

Ok, how about this...Space Ghost gets tanked again and has a fight with his bitch.  He leaves pissed off and goes for a flight to blow off some steam.  He's going at a good clip and then this huge 747 cuts him off mid-air.  Who wouldn't be pissed?  So in a fit of sky-rage he punches a few holes in the fuselage with his Heat Intensifying Rays and beats it back to Dune Rd to throw back a few more.  The evidence is indeed damning now, isn't it?

You are probably thinking, "Gee, that' really doesn't seem like Space Ghost."  Let's look at some pictures.  If you look carefully at this photograph you might notice a big gaping hole in the side of the plane.  It's hard to catch so keep looking.  Now that you have it, you have to agree that it looks like there may be some Heat Intensifying Ray markings on the fuselage.  I know of only one missing "superhero" that could have made those markings.

I contacted Jayce to see if he could shed some light into Space Ghost's whereabouts on July 17th 1996.  I don't really care to repeat the words he used.  Let's just say that he and Space Ghost aren't exactly on speaking terms right now.  He basically screamed "touching me in my special place is wrong Space Ghost!"  I may have inadvertently undone some years of therapy there.

I had no alternative but to go to Jan.  She was alot more cooperative once I provided her with the heroin she wanted.  I thought it was alittle ironic that a former heroine wanted heroin, but she didn't seem to think it was funny and slumped over into her drug induced blackout.  Looks like we won't find any character witnesses for Space Ghost after all.

Ok, so what about the Herculoids?  They may have been able to do something like this and they are just desperate enough to pull something like this, right?  Well, it just so happens they were at a BBQ I was having that fateful day and I have the plumber bills to prove it.  Igoo can shit like you wouldn't believe.  But what can you expect from a ape made out of rock really?  They were fine guests even though Gloop and Gleep were really too enthusiastic about the trampoline.  But hey, they paid for the beer so I'll invite them back.  But that's not the point.

Finally, why point the finger at Space Ghost?  Well let me counter that with, why not Space Ghost?  The man wears a mask, hangs out with known criminals and turns invisible at will.  Does not sound like a fine upstanding citizen at all.  More importantly, this seemed alot funnier when I was so much more tired.  Now I am just scared that all of my heroes are dead.  Where ever you are Space Ghost, I hope you are happy.  I missed some good TV back in 1996 because of you.